A friend of mine once told me, thats why its called a crush cause it crushes you and yeah, it really did. Made my day seem totally bleak actually, i had to somethings to make sure i stayed sane but thats something else, but yeah thats what it is supposed to be i guess. As i searched for some solace in the worldly realm i realised i could find none, its even sadder to realise that inside i was really really hurting but i couldn't let that out, i lost that ability. I'm not looking for reasons why it can't work out here and now, our life here is but temporary so maybe this plays out temporary, whether it does or not, it doesn't matter, i'll still love. I have to thank Mum Serene for talking to me, helping me and guiding me in praying, at the risk of sounding very vulnerable, i cried, inside i totally broke down i couldn't stand after that. Its hard to let go, no one ever said it was easy but i guess God knows what's best for us. We may not realize it now, we may even look back and wonder, but God knows best and likewise i want to obey His will. He is God, if it changes then it changes but in His time and He does it for love. I'll have to accept His love and pass it on in another way is all. Whether you read this or not, please know that i still consider you my biggest inspiration, i meant each and every single word i said and nothing will make me take them back, i love you Sis, always will. But like i said in the prayer, "Lord, I commit (you) into your hands, i let (you) go..."
