Saturday, December 26, 2009
Christmas Spirit
This year's theme of Christmas for Hope Church is Hope. I attended At The Door yesterday and left without any hope cause of some issues that rose and frankly speaking after what happened the hype for Christmas just really wasn't there anymore and this year's Christmas was just feeling somehow somewhat like another day. Other than the fact i slept most of it away i just kinda didn't have the Christmas Spirit in me as much as i thought i did so i kinda just went through whatever else i had planned and learnt something. Hope, is hard to kill. Even if you think there's no hope, its cause you're not looking hard enough. I have a friend whose birthday falls on the 25th of Dec and frankly speaking he kinda lives a miserable life, basically its just sad. So he finally has his 18th b-day 2day and he invited me over, so i kinda reluctantly agreed cause it meant waking up "early", but i promised and i still went and what i saw there just made me smile, more than that it gave me hope, my friend was playing the piano for all his guests and one of them was his grandmother, its the 1st time i'm meeting his whole family but that didn't stop his grandmother from asking me if i was enjoying the music that he was playing, he's from Laselle btw, so more of wanting not to hurt her feelings i said, "yeap he's really good =)" it wasn't until i saw how focused she was on him playing and how she kept whispering to her other grandkids that made me realise for all the people that he lives with and "can't stand him" his grandmother was absolutely proud of him, she was proud of the fact that her grandson could play the piano and that he was performing for everyone whether they wanted to hear him play or not (it was the 3rd performance of the night and nothing changed) but she still loved every minute of it. How does that give me hope? Cause it made me realise my grandma's just like that, as a kid i'd randomly scribble some lines on a piece of paper show it to her and she'd praise it to high heaven, i'd do the same thing a million over times and irritate the hell out of her the whole day and she'd still praise it to high heavens and when i asked her which one was the best she said all and i know that she meant what she said cause she never stopped praising me for every little accomplishment i've made throughout the years and if i'm thankful for anything this Christmas i'm thankful of her. =)
thought @
12:48 AM;
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Camp
I spent the last 3 days in camp so just in case anyone was wondering if i'd died then physically no. I'm still here =) Camp was in every sense of the word awesome, I went with the mindset that i'd wanna die in camp and i think i did, i died and got revived all thanks to the wonderful teachings and the unforgettable fellowship i had with the people in camp and one thing i realised is that even though these were people that i hardly ever knew, i wasn't as guarded as i was, another working of God. One of the things that really made me wake up was the word love. All over the camp all i could see was love, and the occasional cat but the main thing was love, how do i know? Simple, would anyone, dead tired from the night b4 seek out people they're supposed to talk to and when they eventually find them, sit down and really talk to them, heart to heart, not just because they have to but because they want to, if you're wondering how is this love, try sleeping 3 hours only the night b4 and then not sleeping the night after talking to a whole variety of people just cause the occasion calls for it. Let me tell you, it ain't easy. I've been saying this a whole lot but i never really experienced it till camp and thats really simple what i experienced, "If God is love and love has no boundaries then God is love beyond love." So often we say let God pour his love unto us so that we may use the overflowing love coming from us to love the people around us, at camp, everywhere i turned whatever i did, i was just reminded of how much God loves me, regardless of what i did or am going to do or felt like doing, He still loves me. So really, believe me when i say, I love you, whoever you are, i'm going to be there to hear you out, i'll celebrate your every triumph, placate your every fear, grieve your every loss but most importantly, tell you that i love you whenever you need love, simply because i was loved first =)
thought @
11:18 AM;
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Flip
Let me just begin by thanking God for giving me the time to sit in front of my computer for a while and for giving me such a comfortable chair to sit in =D the last 2 days were super awesome, super tiring, i've got body aches in places i didn't even know i had but its all worth it man. I'll begin with the chalet, District Meet! Its the 1st time i've ever attended such an event so i really didn't know what to expect, so basically when i went there, i knew i could expect fun immediately haha water games, war games, swimming pool, frisbee, rugby, soccer etc... what's not to have fun with? Though the midnight walk to the Spider Web was reaaaaaaaallllllllllllly draggy, it was still fun and good in the sense there was time to fellowship with my church peers, that and it brought back memories of SLE Camp. As expected, no one really slept there and it wasn't until i made the firm decision not to sleep that night that i realised i had work the nxt day, so fast forward to the nxt day and you get a super tired caffine-ated waiter trying his best to smile at each and everyone attending the event, so once that shift was over i thought hey finally some rest, then we had to rush to Ion... for the record, carrying a trolley across the entire lobby of the carpark and then up the escalator to the 1st floor and running around the perimeter of a shopping center looking for a van is not fun, it is however a good experience =) once at Ion, more trolley carrying! this time down stairs cause the lift wasn't working, so from 5th all the way down to 1st. Then while we were all completely exhausted, we had our briefing, 3 mins toilet break and *boomz* back to the usual routine of "More Champange for you Sir/Madam?" All the way till 2am and i'm thankful for my Uncle who drives a cab, i'm thankful for my Mum who left food out though i ate outside already, i'm thankful that i have 2 cats that warmed the bed for me though they refused to move eventually and i'm thankful for the few hours of sleep i managed to get cause tonight its the same cycle again... on another note, CHURCH CAMP IS 1 DAY AWAY!!!!!! =D
thought @
12:30 PM;
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Jumper
I hate silence, simply cause it brings you back to face yourself. The part of you that you've been avoiding for the majority of the year, you only seem to face it at times when you're down and out or when you're alone. I do agree with the saying that sometimes the biggest obstacle we have to overcome in life is ourselves and i'm not gonna lie, i've yet to come to that. This holiday i basically pulled myself away from most of my frens and i tried that, result? Well for one i miss them like hell, i've become more withdrawn and distant emotionally and quite frankly that scares the hell outta me cause it literally reflects when i look in the mirror. A cousin of mine introduced to me this song he heard from a movie, "Yes Man" its called Jumper and this line really struck me, "Everyone's got to face down the demons, Maybe today, You can put the past away" No one's perfect, if we appear normal and without a scratch that still doesn't mean that we're fine, we could be far from it and still never know. Thats what i learnt from myself cause one thing i've learnt is that i was so broken up inside that about several things i didn't even know where to begin healing myself. I'm in the process now but i dun wanna start the year with the pain that i have to live with. I wouldn't want this for anyone either, so i'm here, let me help you make it that much more bearable.
thought @
4:40 AM;
