Friday, August 28, 2009
Photoframe
Its funny what you think of when doing mundane things such as decorating photoframes at this hour, check the time of this post i'm supposed to be sleeping. (Due 2mw thats why) Anyways, as i was overturning my drawer and basically dumping everything out to see what could be pasted on the frames so the stuff i would have to draw would be minimal, i found sponge words that spelt out "LOVE" and some shiny star folding paper. It wasn't until i started pasting the words on the photoframe that i realised what i was doing wasn't because i HAD to do it. Though i admit that it is, when you come to think of it, it really isn't. I'm not trying to say that i'm some saint or something who goes around to everyone including my sworn enemy saying that i love him/her. But i actually bothered doing the photoframe. Its a small gesture but hell, it says alot. If i was the teacher and i got some lousily decorated frame i'd actually still be happy, at least someone bothered. For the record, i still have my sister's hand made birthday cards that she gave me years ago, just to set it straight, the only person in my family that can draw is my mum, the rest failed Art. It cost 5 cents, cause thats how much a plain A4 sized paper costs, but at least she bothered. I guess what i'm really trying to say is that for whoever it is reading this post, life for you is gonna get hell busy at some time. We're gonna neglect the people that we care for the most. We often say we'll reciprocate those feelings of love for them at a later time but do we really? I can't say i have and i can say for the majority if not all of the people reading this post can't either. It doesn't take a genius to know how to say thank you or to show some gratitude, we're humans, we're more complex than that i agree, but sometimes we have to go back to basics and for all those who're wondering what that is, its simply, to love. The one thing that drives everyone, or at the very least i know that drives me, is love. We are but products of love, made to love and to create love and to pass that on.
So my challenge is this, to show that someone that you really care for how much they mean to you. There's no time limit, but keep in mind that life is short, you don't have to say that you love him/her and hope that you end up together the rest of your lives, nice fairy tale but i meant love for another as a human. Like Michael Jackson's song goes, "I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways, No message could've been any clearer, If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change." Still not convinced? Then let me start, for whoever you are, whatever you do, whatever you've done, whether you've heard it before or not, i love you. Now go spread the word, make life worth living =)
thought @
12:42 AM;
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
When I grow up...
I met this dude who talked to me abt... well basically he reminded me of whatever i wanted to be as a guy, or more "appropriately" what i thought a "man" should be like. So it kinda sounded like wanting to be popular with all the girls, well not jut girls but guys as well, basically being well liked and simply adored by everyone, which in reality is somewhat possible, if you give them buckets of cash then maybe but niceness only gets you so far these days so i'll take what's been given and give back what i really should. Anyways, as he told me his story and how he felt about school and stuff like that i realized something, all that kinda stuff didn't matter to me anymore... I mean it was weird cause not so long ago i was something like that, everywhere i went, i wanted to be the best, not academically but in other ways and on many levels it was kinda eating at me, i aimed for perfection that meant nothing. I pretty much did most things i thought was "manly" i didn't dare show any emotion cause well its a stupid male ego thing, show too much emotion you're just giving too much away, i dun really know how to explain it but yeah, as i tried to figure out what i was really trying to be, God told me very simply and plainly, to follow Him. Just follow. Faithfully, FAITHFULLY. That's when it kinda struck me, you can find a man who's capable of loving anywhere. I can even find one living under a bridge. The only difference between a "man" and a man, is that a man is truly capable of not just simply loving, but love faithfully.
thought @
11:03 PM;
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Make it never break it
Ok looking at my results i'm not gonna say they're anything fantastic, they're super far from it. I'm literally at the brink of being CTE-ed again cause i wasn't serious about my promos 1. Mr Ang was kinda right i guess, none of us esp me should be looking at this short term, just to promote, we should all be thinking long term. Eyes on the prize, the 'A' levels. Truth be told i'm freaking out about my results haha... i remember telling Benjamin yesterday, i don't care how long it takes, i just wanna get there. Thing is, i don't have the time anymore. I've got something to prove. To myself. In retrospect i guess i should've just studied last year and promoted instead of messing around and yeah they weren't kidding when they said 'A' levels is the hardest course we'd ever have to go through in any education system. I'm living that reality now and i made the bad decision to not live by that and chose to prove this saying wrong cause well yeah, i'ma admit it, my ego got in the way. A year on and with the saving grace of God who gave me wisdom and allowing me to remember His love for me i don't wanna mess around anymore. I know its not gonna be easy but i guess the only thing i can do is to suck it up and go through with it no matter how crappy it feels. It ain't just for me no more. I'm done living for myself. No sacrifice that i make is too great for them. I'll stand by that.
thought @
11:25 PM;
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
For who you are
Just a random question and since it has been brought up in lit lesson sometime ago. Can we love someone to the point where we love them for whatever they are? Like if there was some kinda deep dark past they had or its still in their life currently would we still go all out, even if it was something that we are really against?
thought @
9:08 PM;
Monday, August 3, 2009
Strike that
I've got this friend who's been feeling kinda down since his parents told him the hard truth that their marriage was a shotgun marriage. Why is this a big deal to him, he's the 1st kid. His family isn't exactly the best kinda environment to grow up in as well and yeah he's been struggling with it since he was 18. Then there was a point he actually blamed every fault in his family on himself which if you ask me is pretty damn ridiculous. Anyways, since then i guess he kinda always viewed his father as kinda part of the problem. His dad wasn't exactly the best father either. (Yes we had a very long talk) So its safe to say he didn't like his dad very much either, he was kinda just forced to live with him and this whole truth about the way he was conceived into the world kinda ate at him until one day he called me and told me this. "God doesn't make mistakes." I know this is gonna raise mixed reactions between my believer readers and my non believer readers and personally i believe in God and yes, He doesn't make mistakes, but for my friend here who was struggling so long with the whole idea of being well kinda unwanted in the very beginning, to realizing that even so, he has a purpose in life. God gave him life and not only that, God gave him reason to live as well. It wasn't until then he realized the pointlessness of feeling sorry for himself and thinking so negatively it reflected on his life itself. A year on and i met saw him recently, he's still struggling with his family, trying to patch things up and he said its not easy. Relationships never are. But he did tell me one thing that struck a chord in me. They're family, if he doesn't try, no one else would and though he kinda did blame his dad for everything, he knew that ultimately he came from his mum AND dad, plus he came to know God and he really felt that he wanted to do it, that he should at least mend this broken relationships he left broken for so many years. I guess what i'm really trying to say is that no matter how deep the wounds are, no matter how badly scarred emotionally or physically, God can heal all. All we gotta do is trust, believe and most of all, have faith. I know i do =)
thought @
9:22 PM;
