Recently one of my friends called me up to tell me about his crush on this certain girl in my class. Long story short, he tells me an epic fairytale he thinks he feels and that he's in a dilemma cause there are other girls waiting for him. I'm not gonna comment anything on that cause for me is there's feelings for girl A then there's no need to stress anymore. The next day he's telling me that he needs to speak to me urgently. I met him and he didn't get to put his point across cause i just asked him one question and posed a simple "past problem" to him and he got worried about it and totally forgot. I did, however manage to ask him this one question. "What does she mean to you?" his answer was simple, "everything." What are the boundaries where everything lies? Cause i realise that whenever i'm asked the same question and even before i'm with that girl i find myself guilty of using that line as well only to realise she's not my everything. I think i can find old couples who can't even tell me that their spouse for 50 years is their everything. I mean sure, when they say it they mean everything in the most romantic sense of, "she's the drive in my life when there's nothing to live for" or "she's the air i breathe" but i found that if you really loved someone and even if words couldn't describe how you felt about them and i'm talking about love not infatuation, wouldn't the question and answer segment of "How much do I mean to you?" and the answer of "Everything" be something more? I mean love is ultimately the most powerful emotion a human can feel. Its the difference between happiness and sorrow, hope and despair, sunshine and rain. If i was ever asked that question, personally, i don't think i'd be able to answer it, at least not with words, they wouldn't be justified and i guess neither would the question because they shouldn't have to worry about it in the first place. Oh and in case you're wondering, he sent me another sms telling me that he decided that the girl was a distraction to his studies and that he's not gonna follow up with his "love" for her. I rest my case.
thought @ 10:27 PM;
Sunday, July 19, 2009
All for you
I still need to nominate someone to join SPC... i still gotta plan and promote interhse frisbee and yeah there's the issue of the posters along with getting back my results. I think at some point i should just be glad that if they ever kick me out of school it'll be a good thing right? Mum asked me that question just now over dinner. Not that i haven't really thought about it, i just kinda "refused" to look at it. But in all seriousness, its a high possibility that same time next year i could be doing push ups or preparing for a 30km hike the next day. I guess if it really came down to it i'd be there. So yeah, on that same note i'm scared as hell... haha... never really thought i'd be somewhere on this line where i'm worried for my grades. Its really the first time in my life i'm worried for my future and all for good reason.
thought @ 7:39 PM;
Friday, July 17, 2009
His Way
I believe. I believe totally in God's will and that he totally works in mysterious ways, whether to make us realise something or overcome an obstacle that we are confused about, He listens and His Grace just overpowers everything in my life to tell me the answer when i least expect it or He lets me find out the answer after thinking with His clues of course. I'm just super glad to say this =) Oh and there's no way i could've relearnt the proper way of throwing a frisbee just now if He didn't remind me how and blessed me with the consistency to remember and throw correctly so yes, God is always there and if nothing else works, God works =)
thought @ 8:10 PM;
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Smile
If we ever got into an argument and asked me what i wanted from you. I'll tell you now, all I ever want is to see your smile. Cause for whatever you put me through in the week, thats my drive for anything. Your smile.
thought @ 11:50 PM;
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
3 days later
After Saturday, i think something's wrong with my ankle, hurts like crazy... like i can't put it down straight, i kinda wanna force it to snap back... standing hurts as well but it isn't swelling... Speaking of Saturday, Ah Zhen gave birth to a baby boy =) congrats and 2day Jie took off the bandages for her ear surgery, it looks like her ears have brains now. Back back to the current topic of 2mw's lit exam... if it was abt Plants vs Zombies i'd rock 2mw's paper =) but it isn't so i think i'ma do fine. I hope.
thought @ 11:14 PM;
Monday, July 6, 2009
Feeling the rain
Went to the beach 2day, its been a long time since i was last there. Abt half a year to abt a year since i was there? Reached there and it started raining, got drenched. I couldn't help but take a walk in the rain and think abt stuff. Eventually sat by the waterside and prayed a silent prayer and just sat there waiting for the rain to stop. Funnily enough though the rain was pelting down and the wind was blowing and freezing me to the core, i wasn't exactly shivering and i kinda felt peaceful sitting there; i felt warm inside. I thought really hard about my dream and really believed it. I realised as i'm asking for some kinda assurance, its always there, just not exactly in the form that i'd expect but its always there. Only time is required and nothing's gonna change that. The only difference is that i was just too caught up in the moment to see, whenever the situation called for it, assurance has always been there and i had to get myself soaked to realise that. Yet i'm glad i did, cause getting caught in the rain brought home a sense of familiarity for me and anything that feels like home is good enough assurance for me. I just need to see and realise it =)
thought @ 11:57 PM;
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Totally whack
Consolance for the week, MI Ultimate ain't taking part in this year's 'A' divs. We ain't ready. I think. Not my decision, i asked and no one replied. So yeap, i found out just last Sunday. Don't get it wrong i ain't pissed or anything, it just means i can attend Youth Service on time instead of rushing and probably falling asleep as i'm worshipping. Since its the exam week it has be CRAY-ZAYE... All i've got left to settle is History which is 2mw and Lit Paper 5 which is next week, i seriously feel like throwing the whole of History out the window and just failing the paper, math went by pretty smoothly though, slept for majority of the paper and if i wasn't sleeping or stoning then i was desperately trying to do the paper, yes i attempted, but i sincerely didn't know how to do it so yeap math out the window, i did however get a really nice sleep though. Can't wait for History to be over man... like... then i've got round abt 5 days till the nxt paper which is like a week so yeah... but more time to study =D if i remember to... i'm blogging as my poor excuse of staying awake though, i should be studying but i know that if i do i'll fall asleep and then that'd be the end of it... so yeah...
"Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me, and afterall, you're my wonderwall" and somehow, i'm beginning to really believe that.
