I know i haven't exactly been the best role model for my younger siblings to follow. I think i pretty much did somehow or another lead them to whichever negative part of their life that they're living now but i know that i can't take full blame cause it was also around here that i realised it wasn't the way i wanted my life to be. I had bigger things in store for me and if i were to remain as i were then i would not only mess it up but i would've missed out a whole lot in life. Some part of me wishes very badly that i'm totally hammered so i'm spouting total bull when i say this but part of me really wants to just walk away from everything here or maybe just the problems that refused to be solved. Yeah i tink its called giving up cept i prefer the term walking away... from whatever is left of my already broken up self, i'm struggling to see exactly where the hell i wanna stand. My eyes are already beginning to hurt like hell and my brain is still suffering from the heatstroke earlier on in the day and i'm ranting so i'll cut it real short. Maybe the reason that i'm ranting and typing all these out is cause i so badly wanna be where you are but find myself unable to do that cause i just knew you and that the irony here is that when i'm in this situation where i don't know anything anymore, all i really wanna know about is you.
