The only reason i'm ever awake at this hour during the holidays can only mean one thing, for some unknown reason i couldn't get to sleep thus i'm still awake though i'd desperately try to get back to sleep but somehow can't and i'm gonna have to leave the hse soon and not come back till late at night. SO, i've got Red Bull which i don't think is gonna help much since i drank one can already and still feel like dying. Now i'm trying to figure out how to make it through the rest of the day... Or maybe i should just crawl back into bed now and sleep... hmmm...
thought @ 10:27 AM;
Monday, June 22, 2009
Supposed
I actually wanted to write another random poem here but then i figured since i last wrote one on my poetry blog i should just say something sensible here. I've been saved by the grace of God. I can breathe so much easier now and there is some peace in my life =) I have the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I have her. I'm not lucky, i'm blessed =)
thought @ 10:05 PM;
Saturday, June 20, 2009
and you...
So here i am, its raining out, slightly over a week before school starts and the exams are coming around and i'm pretty close to saying screw it, lets see what happens if i fail. What i really feel like doing and saying isn't really helping what i'm supposed to be doing, namely studying. I know the whole world of JC students out there are studying their hardest, well majority and me... well... when Marcus made that whole minimum 2 H2 passes i thought hey, why not? Its something i can work for. But i've come to realise that maybe its just not it. I've lost so much and all that for what? Everything that i've given i sincerely feel has come to a naught. Can we restart this whole thing? If i had known, i wouldn't have said goodbye like that...
thought @ 6:46 PM;
Monday, June 15, 2009
Are you?
This is for everyone who reads my blog, whether you know me or not, hate me or love me, on speaking terms with me or not, i don't care if you're someone from another country, i need an answer. Is there such a thing as seeing someone and knowing that they're the one for you just that its not your time to be with them yet?
thought @ 2:16 AM;
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Victory
I guess we can all find victory everywhere we go. Even in places we'd least expect, much less in a fireworks show. As i stood there taking everything in, like a small kid seeing fireworks for the very first time, i started thinking about some stuff, including stuff some ppl have told me and though they were right and i knew from the beginning, i kinda refused to believe them until just now and i know its gonna throw me down familiar roads, ones that i have been avoiding for so long, i think its time that i go back, see what's wrong and face them. Who knows what could happen. I figured if i really wanted to become a better person, i gotta go back and fix the wrongs that i've refused to look at, accept and change them into rights. At the end, i'll know exactly where the victory lies. Until then i won't give up, i gotta keep trying.
thought @ 12:00 AM;
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Today...
I know i haven't exactly been the best role model for my younger siblings to follow. I think i pretty much did somehow or another lead them to whichever negative part of their life that they're living now but i know that i can't take full blame cause it was also around here that i realised it wasn't the way i wanted my life to be. I had bigger things in store for me and if i were to remain as i were then i would not only mess it up but i would've missed out a whole lot in life. Some part of me wishes very badly that i'm totally hammered so i'm spouting total bull when i say this but part of me really wants to just walk away from everything here or maybe just the problems that refused to be solved. Yeah i tink its called giving up cept i prefer the term walking away... from whatever is left of my already broken up self, i'm struggling to see exactly where the hell i wanna stand. My eyes are already beginning to hurt like hell and my brain is still suffering from the heatstroke earlier on in the day and i'm ranting so i'll cut it real short. Maybe the reason that i'm ranting and typing all these out is cause i so badly wanna be where you are but find myself unable to do that cause i just knew you and that the irony here is that when i'm in this situation where i don't know anything anymore, all i really wanna know about is you.
thought @ 2:09 AM;
Monday, June 8, 2009
The holidays are starting to get to me... and yes, i hate it.
thought @ 1:36 AM;
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I'm considering on takin a break. As in from sports. HAHAHAHA that'll be the day, i've got suspected injuries on my thumb and my shin, big surprise huh? LOL oh well, guess i can only suck it up and move on.
