Thursday, April 30, 2009
thought @
8:06 PM;
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I'm here to revive my blog, i'm sure many of you are sick of coming here to read nothing haha, i'm still tired as hell, being sick for 4 days straight does something to you man... PE was fun in the MI sense of fun yeah, then there was training that pissed me off so bad but yeah again, necessary. Had a weird 5 way counselling session just now that i don't even know how i got myself into, i just hope all of you are feeling much much better. So i guess other than my torn bag strap nothing much or nothing's changed. =)
thought @
12:28 AM;
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Really, seriously, i don't think i can do this anymore.
thought @
9:06 PM;
Friday, April 17, 2009
I know that its a bit too much to ask for a break now cause a whole lot of people are gonna dispute that i don't need one that i need to drop some things so i can have more time for the important stuff? Thing is i'm doing the best i can to prioritse and to tell you the truth it ain't that easy, i'm already going on 4 hours of sleep per night and i don't even wanna think of what my results would be like if i took the mid years now... I'm not asking for someone else to share this with cause they've got their own stuff to worry abt? The best i'm doing now is taking it in one day at a time... With Teengames around the corner and Eleen throwing a bitch fit for me to "spectate" and "appreciate" i really cannot give a damn what she thinks or wants anymore, go do whatever you want. Then there's that other Frisbee thingy at the end of May... 10 and 10... So i'm thinking of pulling Darnell in for this, i think i've more of a problem pulling ppl into the under 18 catergory? Then there's the MI Carnival and MI Mart which have been thrown pretty much last min and i'm already in a whole hella trouble for that... and funny thing is i dun really even know why. Caricatures are so not gonna work out cause there are only 2 ppl doing the drawing, the rest i dunno already haha, walk around and pull people in to watch? I soooooo need an escape.....a.r.g.h
thought @
11:42 PM;
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Good Friday
"It should be called Bad Friday cause sometime around 2000 years ago someone died. Why is it so special? This someone, this man was innocent, yet he died." - Pastor Wong
Yeap. Jesus died and 3 days later was revived from the dead, defeating death, promising us eternal life. For me to not attend church for such a long time and to come back to something as significant and meaningful as Good Friday, thats really saying a whole lot. If anything i think its safe to say that my soul has been redeemed once again, saved from all the craziness of this world, for the longest time i could ever remember feeling this sense of emptiness in me, not being able to fully appreciate whatever was going on in my life and not appreciating what i was doing for myself. Its funny cause whatever i was looking for and what i needed was right in front of me, all i had to do was to set aside at most 15 mins, to say that i was tired, that i needed some sort of healing to tell me that its for something at the very least and that i needed some divine intervention from the one true God and that everything is gonna be fine. Pretty dumb huh? But i'm glad He did and i'm thankful that i still feel bad that He did.
thought @
1:01 AM;
Monday, April 6, 2009
Short of a prayer...
As i'm waiting for the indemnity forms to be printed out i find myself wondering how and why the hell am i in this situation where i'm supposed to do all this. Its amazing enough that i've managed to find 4 more people to help out play Teengames. I have no idea how i'm gonna pull a miracle out from this haha i know the old adage is keep believing and keep hustlin' but i've been doing that the whole time and truth be told i need someone to take the reigns for a while, just for a lil bit so i can catch my breath and focus on stuff that require my attention as well... The reason why i haven't been blogging as much is cause i find myself wondering if i should really expose to the rest of the world how i really feel, somewhere along the line i find myself picking up the persona of the steel wall, the one everyone can depend on. Yet after Saturday's incident i really ask myself is it worth it? Its funny cause it already has reached a point where i don't care so much about what i feel and place the wants and needs of others before what i actually require; brushing off the advice of the people who really care in the process, now i'm suffering the blunt of it all while the rest of the world waltzes around. Somehow i tink its time for me to really reflect and turn to God, something i haven't done in a very long time which shouldn't be the case at all...
thought @
12:37 AM;
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Can't believe i actually put them in front of Mama...I should've stayed behind instead of coming back to this place i call life... haha so yeah you already kinda know how my saturday went. Thanks alot.
thought @
10:11 PM;
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
April Fools Day
I'm having a huge-ass headache now and i very much feel like whining cept i'm supposed to set this ignored image of a responsible elder brother to his 2 younger brothers taking their 'O' levels this year, in other words they get to hurl and scream abuse and think random thoughts of leaving school while i'm their adviser. I'm trying very very hard to focus on the things that are really important to me now just that given all that has been thrown into my lap i don't know which is which? I feel like going for a long long holiday. I feel that i deserve one. A day to finish up all my assignments would be nice as well... Transcendence auditions are another thing... somehow i just don't really feel like going for it... i'm just not feeling it. I don't even think this post makes any freaking sense...
If only then maybe and probably but i guess we just weren't meant to be.
thought @
11:44 PM;
