Sunday, August 31, 2008
In the past 2 days, 2 people in Mama's ward passed on, they went to somewhere else, some unknown realm, i'm just hoping it has fluffly clouds and stuff. I lost a train of thought in that split second so i'll try to remember it... *after 5 mins* oh yeap, death is somewhat apparent here and its just bugging everyone else out.
Sad part here is that the 2nd lady that died, no one said goodbye to her and when they found out, they did like the drama's do, push the blame around. I know this is waaaaaay outta my control, but if you gon take her away from me now, pls know that i ain't letting her go without a fight, Mama means alot to me.
thought @
3:11 PM;
Saturday, August 30, 2008
I'm beginning to become real familiar with the hospital already man... i can practically close my eyes and navigate around so thats a plus bad point already. We've got the Kopitiam Card and can actually argue over what and where gets the best place for discounts or top up services. What i'm trying to say is that THIS IS BAD. In and out of the hospital ain't something that should be proclaimed so happily luh. Its all on the back of our minds, just that maybe some of you guys are like me and are freaking terrified to even think of it luh. I don't know what's the reason for you guys but i'm still clueless how i'm gon be like after she's "gone" and the adults, who can ever forget them cause you guys, are still acting more CHILDISH then EVER! BUT! hey, its your choice to argue/quarrel/ fight with whoever or whatever you guys want right? i mean who the hell am i to judge? Thats why i'm always quiet, i've nothing to say. Fight lor. if you want, gimme a month or so and i'll build the make-shift ring for you guys to use, more "civilised" plus the ropes and everything, bell included pay more i'll throw in the scoreboard also.
Now i've got that out the way, i. am. damn. tired... my body feels broken up... i dunno how to really describe it, but i guess broken is the only word i can think of and based on what happened earlier, i don't think i'd be able to sleep much or at all tonight. After being "shouted" (cause its in the hospital) and "screamed" at, i got to thinking luh, my meeting with the doc is this coming Monday and i dunno why i dunno how, i feel scared. For the 1st time in my life, i feel scared for myself, really scared. Its accumulation of injuries, they could just tell me i can never do any sport ever again, i can't do that. I don't even know if i wanna go or not and i'm actually telling mum and dad to go to work and let me go myself cause i dunno how i'll react and i dun want them to see how i'd really react... i just... i dunno... once the throbbing starts i don't know anymore.
thought @
8:52 PM;
Friday, August 29, 2008
Hmmm... i swear, the concerts get more worse as each year goes by and though some were really good, (Stef i'm still in "awe") there were those who were well... bad? yea. No photos cause i don't really bother to do that, plus no camera so yea. Highlight of the day, seeing all my teachers =)) yea and my sec school frens, some have not changed and for those who changed, its just weird for me to see you guys that way yea. Great to see my frens who are in NBSS also like damn long never talk uh? LOL
But to every happy event there's this one part thats bittersweet, found out 2day that its Miss Ling's last year as a teacher cause after this she's gonna retire to be a full time, herself. While we're all gonna miss her loads, cause now go back NBSS also cannot see her, she's like my fav english teacher(?) cause she had to "suffer" in class for like 3 years luh.... 2006's 4B is NOT easy to teach i can tell you that. But she still stayed on and never lost faith in us. So thank you Miss Ling, 2day's lunch was nothing compared to what you've done for us in comparison to everything you've done for us. Thank you for believing in us when no one really did =) Wish you all the luck in your future endeavours and must keep in touch ok cher =) we'll go out for lunch or dinner together again haha
thought @
8:16 PM;
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Its almost as though everyday's a drag now, i really don't like the situations i'm being thrown in or the ones i've been thrown at. The occasional shouting and screaming ain't doing me much good either, how i'm still here typing all this i don't really know. I know i can last thing out, i can ride this out and come out fine. I hope.
More than anything, yea i do miss her and wish i could hold her, even if it was just for that one moment in time. Its not so much of a hurt, more of a disablilty, the disablilty to breathe even normally when it just gets you. That you know its not a lie and wish things were different but there's nothing you can do. Yet you still wanna be there but it seems like she doesn't even wanna give you that chance. I know its not the time to be saying all this, but would it be too much for you to show me how you really feel? Cause you know i would never let you down, never...
thought @
9:40 PM;
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I've been here before, nothing new. I'm sure if i stick to what i did in the past i'll be fine i think. I'm not sure and well to be honest, i'm just sick and tired of it all luh. haha can't wait for Friday cause well its teachers day haha and its weird, but i kinda miss Mdm Au, i mean yea SURE she made me stay back every single day in sec 1 and 2 but then its like erm "for my own good" yea haha and MI is NOTHING like secondary school, kinda actually no, REALLY miss secondary school luh but then there are certain things MI beats NBSS in luh haha, so yea looking forward to going to NBSS this friday too haha can't wait man and my friends! i miss them so much, so yea hope to see all you guys there this friday =)
Mama i do hope you'll get well soon, its difficult for anyone to see you lying there on the hospital bed... I hope and pray and i believe
I'm off to get that run i so rightly deserve
yes i deleted the previous post cause i myself didn't like it.
thought @
6:37 PM;
Sunday, August 24, 2008
This is an inspired post, inspiration from 2 sources, Mindchamps and The Bucketlist. After watching the show for the 2nd time, made me realise life is short, we're supposed to do the things we want, not be controlled by other people out there. True, not everyone is able to do that. In order to do that now, we've gotta have at least some cash. But thats rubbish. If thats really the case, does that mean that the poor are totally unable to live out their dreams? Because we don't have the means does that mean we've to give up on what we believe in, our goals? I tink personally, if we wanna do something, let the passion in our hearts burn hard and bright enough, everything will fall into place. So to those out there who wanna achieve some dream out there that doesn't seem acheivable, be it under current circumstance or future, or maybe even not ever, don't let go of that, for the one simple reason that even if you do, your dream would never give up on you. It'll still be there, always. So don't ever let that go.
thought @
9:16 PM;
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Songs are the keys to the soul sometimes and thats why they speak to us, on some level. This song kinda does that. Pretty much wraps everything up that i feel and/or wanna say sometimes.
Savage Garden - Affirmation
I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe you’re most attractive features are your heart and soul.
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
thought @
5:54 PM;
Friday, August 22, 2008
2day is just stressful. Other blog, if you will. =)
thought @
10:08 PM;
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I ain't stressing abt 2mw, in reality i don't really care. I shouldn't care cause either i realise a dream 2mw or i kill one. So would it be mine or someone else's. fine line there huh? for all the shit i've done, its gon catch up to me, give yourself a stupid slip up, yea that day's 2day. I don't blame anyone, i thank you for not knowing what the correct answer would've been and well yea now more's on the line for me. I don't care what you think really, hurt me all you want. Yes after all these years its amazing what you can say to bring me to the point where i feel hurt. But thats something else. For now, and 2mw doesn't change anything cause its just something else.
Then again on a different note, its just weird to hear your folks call you something like that when you yourself have never seen yourself, much less someone else that. So i'm definitely going through something here. Sadly, i get to choose and the choice isn't that of fun and laughter, for me anyways, but one of giving in so yeap. its who i'm supposed to "be" for now. in whatever and any case, i'm eating into Darnell's com time, sry dude.
thought @
7:54 PM;
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Eh you know the previous post, where i attended school on tuesday, yea strike that cause i didn't got to school 2day lol. Bodyaches and i dunno why, suspected dengue lol. So i wonder why i was "hyper" in the morning then suddenly ran a fever in the night and then this morning bodyache... so do i have dengue? cause i didn't register a fever 2day leh, have luh but then it went down again. MOB is superbly boring but something i have to drag myself through, if marks counted solely on class participation i would just make more noise and be happy with it. But sadly there's still that thing called the exams and PROMOS somemore so really, what can i say? Oh and then there's math which i haven't really touched... hmm... would doing one or 2 practices really count? I think very soon i won't be online so often and blog as much cause i'd be really studying but would that be too late now? so its like back to 'O' level times where i come home and be too tired to touch the com just to the shower and then bed and i'd sleep really really well? Scary thought there. i remember being a zombie, like no laughter leh or at least not much luh.
Oh and btw, Narin nice seeing you again and yes you're still a bigger jackass than i am or will ever be and Sam i don't see you for 8 months and this is what happens? This is just so damn sad luh... think of the irony of it... and i can somewhat relate? i tink? yea.
thought @
5:54 PM;
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I dunno why but now when i cough its like my stomach is tearing itself from the inside and we did sit ups for PE 2day. So i can't feel my stomach now but i'm damn hungry still. I've got a fever too =) i like fevers, they keep me warm when i'm damn cold and let me sleep for longer hours on end haha i don't think i wanna go school 2mw. I shocked everyone by being in school 2day, they were like OMG you're here in school!! I'm still getting used to seeing the S.C interns wearing their badges, its like they've got a Smile Please badge there, so i just smile when i talk to them. Kinda like our orange SPC shirts. "Welcome to MI Cafe, my name is Kenneth and may i take your order? =)" yea...
Its weird, 2day is like fortune telling day, at least 4 times 2day someone asked me if i was gonna withdraw from MI or dropping outta school... like what? I know my grades suck but I'M DOING SOMETHING ABT IT OKAY!
But happier things, i got my medals =) *Shiny*
I know its 2nd but still =) i like the medals cause the games itself were damn fun luh, the medals are just a bonus hehe =)
thought @
7:29 PM;
Monday, August 18, 2008
After last night everything seems pretty much clearer, guess i was just a lil bitter is all, i don't feel that anymore, i can safely say that i'm definitely happier than before. Don't have to feel any guilt, what for? i'm happy now aren't i? =) really. After all that talk and everything, the fustration, yea another realization being made and yes. I respect your decision and not want to be something that i am not supposed to be. Its not my torch to carry, as so many people have so aptly put it. But after all this, i just hope that we are still able to remain friends, yes, purely friends. You're a great friend and i don't want to lose a good friend to something as redundant as this? I apologise for everything that i put you through and yea, if there was any guilt to be felt, i should feel it too. While i apologise, i have to thank you also, for the good memories and the part of life that you handed back to me, something that i thought i had lost so long ago. So thank you, for that, for letting me be a part of your life, even if it was for a short time, Like you always tell me, 2mw is a new day, we've to move on and at this current point of time, focus on what's important right? So that's what i'll do cause its the right thing to do. I hope that we'll still continue to be friends and be happy and contented, knowing that we left this with nothing but happy memories. I don't regret anything if thats the way it was meant to be, cause i learnt that i have a trusted friend in you. =) God bless. Always.
thought @
3:59 PM;
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Fustrated? i'm actually tempted to just run. Fast. Anywhere. Then come back, take the dumb painkillers, sleep, wake up then feel different maybe? i need that freaking run... BAD.
thought @
9:22 PM;
Saturday, August 16, 2008
I don't really go to the temple, but 2day was an exception. Its for Gong Gong, i told him, i ain't coming here as a christian but i'm here as your grandson. No matter what i know i'ma always be his grandson and Mama's grandson. So yea guess even if Mama is gone (touch wood, not so soon) i'm still answerable to them. I may seem messed up to some people luh but then even i have limits to the things that i would never do. So yea i thank you for contributing part of your stubborness onto me. I don't blame the both of you for not being there physically but i thank you for being there for me no matter what the circumstance, cause i know fully well i made several decisions that would be frowned upon and ostracised by society in general, but through it all, you both believed in my decision and never questioned it and when i fell, picked me up and told me to try again. Even when the rest of the world told me i was being a total and complete fool to even try. Thank you for believing in me and never questioning my actions and decisions and understanding without explanation and yea, when it comes to the both of you, there is nothing i have to hide cause its truly my safeheaven. Nothing i have to worry abt. Just wanna say that i really do miss you and wish you were here right now. I'd tell you everything and anything and listen to your opinion cause i know you truly loved and still do love me. Not everything i do is the right thing, in terms of society's standards, but yea, thank you for standing by me in whatever =) i just really really miss you... =(
as for 2day, original plans had to cancel cause my aunt made a request to follow Jie so yea, i owe her at least something i followed Jie instead to the job fair. Which really sucked. i dunno abt the norm but do they really advertise their companies by saying stuff like "if anything just go to our company's website." then they go on to talk abt redundant stuff and end the conversation with the same line.. so yea might as well just give us a brochure that says come to jobfair.com and there they'd have all the links there. So it was redundant to go also... then followed Jie to meet Christy/ Kristy(?) for eh... dinner/ light refreshments? The pub there is superbly bad... guys minimum age to drink is 25... HAHA sadded luh. Then after that went to Wine Boss for eh.. wouldn't say wine tasting luh cause there was only one but then drank like 3 -4 bottles of wine?? So much for abstaining for 2day huh Jie? LOL yea and thank you for giving me cash to take a cab home, even though we wanted to take the train home lol =) thank you Jie and yeap here i am now in front the lappy blogging =) and i still feel bad... =(
thought @
10:14 PM;
Friday, August 15, 2008
yea, HTP totally caught me off guard today. Sexual Ed... WTH? I thought that the further up the education system you are, the more redundant this becomes since its been drilled into our heads since primary 6. Isn't that enough? AND OF ALL THINGS, ABORTION? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!! so yea, i was pretty much walking around the school in half a daze after that, cause i started thinking from a different perspective. To me its just somewhat scary, cause i could've been like that... cept without love... to really die alone.... thanks for messing up the day luh....
Figure out what it means. James, no telling =)
thought @
3:56 PM;
Thursday, August 14, 2008
hmmm... ok its a confirmed fact i'm sick and the irony here is that while i'm trying to sleep, the getai singers are at the carpark downstairs singing.... BADLY!!!!! At least get some good ones.... like the 881 kinds luh.... at least i can sleep and somewhat enjoy the songs knowing they were from a generation that my grandma lives in and i'm sharing part of that. Cause whatever i'm hearing now is worse than strangling a chicken luh... someone kill me pls....
Oh and i learnt something 2day, when i'm sick and forced into a verbal arguement, i can be VERY sarcastic, as in more than the usual luh. so erm... sorry hehe but yea, dinner and when i just woke up, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! but yea sorry. =)
PLS LEMME GO BACK SCHOOL 2MW WHETHER I'M SICK OR NOT!!!!! =(
I know the world doesn't really need me and i'm insignificant to the world. But i don't care, as long as i get a call from a friend, i'm there, be it late or early, i'm there. I apologise for not talking to you guys for so damn long and yea i know things have been getting stressful for all of us, but thats no excuse for me to not care. Its how i relieve stress, in the more diplomatic way. So yeap, those who have some way of contacting me and need a listening ear, i offer my services to all you. 24/7. What you guys are going through is tough, but we all in this together ai'te, don't forget that smile =)always. When everything's gone, its all we've got =)
thought @
8:40 PM;
Wooo!!! I'm sick yea, like really haha i've got a fever which is ironic and everyone cept some of my close friends think i'm skipping school. haha... oh well. i' super bored here and my brain is pretty much fried, the room is spinning around and so is the keyboard =) i still can type haha i win. I'd love for the fever to continue so i can sleep throughout the weekend but then i have to be in school 2mw.... hmmm... go back luh. Home is boring.... zzzz.... yes i am spouting nonsense here. this is where i stop and go to sleep bye people =)
thought @
9:32 AM;
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I don't trust myself not to type emo stuff for my posts so i shan't post anything at all for a while.
thought @
10:41 PM;
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... and this is somewhat ironic at some point.
thought @
11:27 PM;
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Before i go on i apologise for the profanities that might or might not appear here in the blog, personally i refrain as much as possible but there are times where they are called for. Thank you =)
Anyways, went to Arts House to watch Laurent play 2day and i tell you his band is freaking cool freaking awesome =)) almost on par with the Black Knights display (there i mentioned them), i realized the music they play really suits the genre i listen to so yea Avis(?) is the band's name, release an album soon yea =) i'll be the first to buy =) But it was cut short and the last song they played really "spoke" to me in the sense that maybe i knew what it was really about? Even though there wasn't any lyrics to it? Yea could see that Laurent was pretty pissed too... but hey you guys were GREAT, invite us down for the next gig ai'te =)
Then comes the phone call....After that entire thing i didn't even feel like facing the water and the amazing thing was that i was just beside the S'pore river. So yea.... felt superbly lousy after that and i still am feeling that way now.... but James, no hard feelings yea? I know the deal was that we get the license together but maybe my time just ain't now? I don't know when will be the next time i'll get to sail but this time i refuse to push the blame to anyone... its my choice afterall right? Yea, i love the water, i love looking up at the sky while on water and i love the relief of being on land after a rough time on water, yea i love all that, the discipline i learn, the life lessons thought through just cause i'm drifting and there's nothing i can do. Yea i love all that and i'ma miss all that... it sucks big time to not be able to go.... and yes it kinds hurts a lil... but like what i always say, life's never been fair, why make this any different? All i can say is that if i can't do it now then fine, whatever, i'll find another alternative, i'll go back to my roots and run. As far, as long till i get to come back to the water. Maybe then i won't be caught under such messed up circumstances anymore. haha...
thought @
10:49 PM;
Happy Birthday S'pore =) though it is like an hour or so late but its the thought that counts yea? =) The fireworks were amazing =) like right in front of me so yea that was something new. I'm a lil tired now so i'll post the photos another time but there's something i gotta say. I don't really feel that much of the guilt of what i did to you. Fine. I feel more guilty that i broke a promise to someone that means alot to me no matter how unimportant she thinks she is. I'll still say she is. Under circumstance or not, i don't ever wanna do it again. As for the redundant part, the same applies, i'm sorry if i had pissed you off, even if it was for that 5 seconds. Thats long enough. Life's too short to be angry, even if it is for 5 seconds.
thought @
1:03 AM;
Friday, August 8, 2008
For the benefit of those who haven't read my previous post, i was talking about learning lessons. 2day i learnt a slightly more painful one, when you've got shin split, DON'T march. Se-di-ah and the shin is gone. I couldn't march in time after that HAHA but the concert was better. Pi Pah Gao really helped =) thank you so much =) you're gonna say never mind and all that but yea i still have to say it.
Side track abit uh. its 8-8-08 2day right, its the beginning of the Olympics =) its all cool its all good. What i have here isn't good news but i have no idea where else to put this cause it sure as hell ain't going into the poetry blog, whatever. I already know the people who are gonna mark this date down as the saddest day or close to the saddest day around. Its utterly depressing for me cause it is gonna bug me like hell for it. I also don't really know how to put this into words.... all i can say is that they went ahead with the plan, nothing i said changed their mind so yea... =(
thought @
10:00 PM;
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Ai'te lets throw everything down and view and review every single thing we've thrown down. Before you start to be nice and calm the other party starts shouting and screaming his/her head off. Tell me how do you feel? Well i guess at some point it starts to grow on you a bit but thank God it don't turn the person that way so it mustn't be all that influential then. =) ah simple bliss
Hmmm.... appointment on the 9th of September. Having a lil bit of mixed feelings about this cause its another pyhsio round again. Last time was the knee, now's the shin so yea, soon it'll be the ankle LOL kidding kidding =) but yea, that don't change the fact that i run. "Run for reason." One way or the other, its necessary. 2day i learnt that sometimes the things you try to run away from still come and bite you in the ass, in the case of the shifted detention and the school calling my mum up. So its really just amusing for me. Another important lesson i learnt is that i have freaking cool friends. They down for me when they know what it means to me and they really trust me with everything they got. So how can i let them down, TELL ME? I am sorry i have to march 2mw cause it'll be weird to stay back all those days and not show up 2mw right? Plus i've to turn up early anyways so why not? Last thing i've learnt is that sometimes, school isn't all that important, sometimes we've got to review everything in life. Time management? Priority? I dunno what you wanna call it but sometimes we gotta see whats important to us and if the occasion arises, or the need comes, sacrifice whatever is necessary. Exams are important, school is important but what do we really learn? I just spent an entire day in school and this is what i've learnt. Plus unprotected sex REALLY sucks. Sat thanks for tellin us guys all that.
Its still a life, like it or not. I don't like what i'm hearing and i sure as hell don't wanna be a part of all this mess cause i'm not obliged to help you in this sense. If you guys wanna keep it then sure why not, i'd help you guys out. I'd help you find work so you can be responsible for once. Or still cash strapped, i'll help you out, i'll work too. But i swear... walk away from it all and you know what i'll do...
thought @
10:33 PM;
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
hmmm... cough mixture makes you sleepy? A RESOUNDING YES. Went to see the doc 2day, something i've not done in a super long time. I was scared. Yes. Nothing to be ashamed abt we all get that sometimes but yea. Actually i was more terrified than scared, i mean how many times can the doc tell you you've cracked your shin b4 they tell you that it has to stop b4 you are rendered incapable to walk? That thought alone terrifies me. I sat outside the X-Ray room for hours. Really. Stressing about what i was gonna hear. Good news is the doc, didn't mention what i expected him to say, so thats a plus point, mum actually sent dad down to pick me up, something i never saw coming cause i said i can still walk and when i reached the office Darnell, of all people, called to see how i was doing. I feel like i'm in some sorta bizzaro world now, is there a catch?
In the end, i got a referral letter to a sports specialist =) haha yes i find that rather amusing. I got calcium tablets and painkillers. LOL what a weird med mix haha.
Somehow, all the above-mentioned doesn't mean anything to me. Its just another cycle i've to go through. Been there, done that. I planned to blog abt this last night but i fell asleep the moment i lay on the bed, cough syrup is like sleeping pills? But i digress. For obvious reasons, i think i can't mention your name so i apologise for that, but do know that what you did was and still is very much appreciated by me. Cause no one would ever do that for me. I was coughing like hell yesterday and you're the only person that showed me concern. You opened my eyes to let me see things i was oblivious to before but see them so clearly now. There are so many things i wanna say to you but just can't put them into words. Yet somehow i know you can feel them. If not, all i can say is gut feeling. But know that i'm forever thankful and grateful and there's a whole lot of other things i wanna say but now would be the wrong time to say them, but thank you girl, thank you. For this, for everything. =)
thought @
8:38 PM;
Sunday, August 3, 2008
And the poetry blog is updated.
I just woke up so i'm in a semi-comatose state, i wonder how i even got up in the first place. As always, the first and last thought in my mind is her and right about now i'm wondering if she's ai'te and if she's gotten enough sleep.
Girl if you're reading this, i wanna say that i'm real lucky to have met you and though the odds are way stacked against us, i won't let that change the fact that i love you and will continue to till whenever is that day that i have to leave this world. Despite everything i still thank God that he let me find someone that's so similar to me in more ways i could ever think of and not let me feel alone. Someone i can trust without having to wonder if you could trust them. I know i can come to you at my lowest point and even when i don't, you'd come to me cause you'd know, so its only fair that i be there for you irregardless if you need someone there or not cause i don't wanna take that chance. I know this is something i won't regret and never will, i don't care how much i have to overcome just to stand beside you in public, hold you tight and tell the entire world how much i love you. I don't know when will you be reading this but when you do, know that since that day, you were on my mind and even though i didn't know why, i had that hunch, this feels so natural its like i'm seeing all of myself in you and this could be it. Know that i love you and there isn't a time that you're not on my mind, cause you are what drives me to whatever limit i have then you break that and let me see i am that much more. For that, i thank you girl. =) I love you.
thought @
11:36 AM;
Saturday, August 2, 2008
I miss the wind rushing the sails, filling it up and moving faster than anything, water slapping your face when you're not paying attention, wind screaming in your ears, the sun shining on you yet you don't feel the heat, waves breaking when the bough cuts it and then they immediately form back. I miss trapezing out from the sides and then jumping back in cause the wind suddenly changes direction but most of all. I miss the feeling of the water when the sails are let down and i just drift, without a care in the world. Escape.
Ain't gon lie and say i'm not disappointed abt 2day. I was. WAS. Cause even at this point of time its bloody unfair but then again life is unfair. So all i'ma say is that there'll be another day for me to get back on the water but there may not be another day i get to spend with you, so sailing over you, i choose you. Its my only solace right now and i'm glad that i could've been of help. =) Just wanna say have a fun night out and i'll be missing you, so yea =) take care and stay safe =)
thought @
7:26 PM;
Friday, August 1, 2008
2day was..... i don't need to explain. You felt it for yourself. =) thank you for everything. Past, present and future. I meant everything i said when i stood outside at the railings. if i have to prove myself then thats what i'll do. odds are stacked way up against me, i know, you know and the entire world knows, but then again, when has that ever stopped me? i really truly believe in what we have here and i ain't letting go of that, ever =)
thought @
11:19 PM;
yea, HTP totally caught me off guard today. Sexual Ed... WTH? I thought that the further up the education system you are, the more redundant this becomes since its been drilled into our heads since primary 6. Isn't that enough? AND OF ALL THINGS, ABORTION? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!! so yea, i was pretty much walking around the school in half a daze after that, cause i started thinking from a different perspective. To me its just somewhat scary, cause i could've been like that... cept without love... to really die alone.... thanks for messing up the day luh....