I know i've been down this path before but i've never felt this way, this is just deafening and at the same time so silent its not there, its almost as though everything is just plain contradicting itself and everything around it and in the end i somehow just contradict myself more and more... like now... someone asked me why i was so emo 2day, guess i kinda was, but for a while, then i started thinking about everything and anything. Then suddenly for no apparent reason i started to feel alone like really alone, i mean i have really good friends who are there for me but for some reason i just can't seem to tell them all my problems and i somehow just choose to carry that burden alone, then at the same time i wanna help them carry theirs cause they mean so much to me and i just dun want to see them go through all that alone... i find it harder to walk away and leave them there than to go through whatever it is they need help with. For the first time in my life 2day, i've never felt more alone and i've never felt it so acutely... like everyone's been speakin on a different frequency and when they can't connect they just walk away to leave me there. Then again maybe i just need more alone time to think this through get over this crappy feeling and bounce back...? I need a bottle of aspirins... i'll take 2 and give the rest to whoever needs it, suicide is for losers and people who claim they've no meaning in life, they're just to lazy to look for it. I wish u were with me now...
